Running late?

I just don't get some people.  Actually, I don't get a lot of people.  But I especially don't get the people who think that just because THEY'RE running late it means that they get to cut in front of other people.  Just the other night, I had a line.  There were only two registers open because there were only two employees working.  There was a woman towards the back who yelled up to me and asked me if I she could go ahead and get checked out because she was running late.

Well, not wanting to upset the customers in front of her, I told her that it was up to the other customers as to whether or not she could skip them.  The women then asked the women running the other register (aka the manager) and the manager simply restated what I had already said.  

So the customer started asking.  The first few people in front of her let her go, but at some point someone said no.  Fine with me, not my problem.  She fumed and swore every few seconds, but she wasn't being that disruptive and no one was complaining so I just ignored her.   

She gets up to my register, starts swearing a little louder, complains about how we have horrible customer service.  I'm inclined to agree with that sentiment--we should have served our customers by kicking her out.  

It's been a while...

Man, it's been a while since my last post.  And things are just as crazy as ever.  An update on Bob: He is on the verge of being fired.  I just hope he doesn't realize it.

You know, if I could have one wish, it would be that we cashiers would be allowed to tell people how idiotic they seem when they ask a stupid question, or how annoyed we are when they pay a two dollar and fourteen cent total with a twenty.  Hell, just yesterday someone called in and asked if we had kiddie pools!  Seriously lady?!  Below are some responses I wish I could give to common idiotic questions/situations:

Customer walks in and immediately asks where the batteries are:
Me: Look around you lazy bum, they're right behind you.

Customer: Walks into the store, comes up to me, and simply says (Insert product here).  No "Do you have" or anything, just  (insert product here)
Me: F you.

Customer: Pays with a twenty for their two-dollar total.
Me: I'm sorry, you must have us confused with a bank.  The bank is right across the street.  We're a freaking dollar store.

Customer: Runs to the front of the line, skipping everyone else, waves a product in my face, throws money at me, then runs out.
Me: Umm, no, lady.  You have to wait in line like everyone else.  I don't give half a damn if you're in a rush, you should have planned better.

Customer: Puts soap/other product in candy by registers.
Me: Ma'am/sir, I realize you probably didn't pass first grade, so I'm gonna help you out: That product is actually over there, what you were about to put it with was the candy.

Customer's kids are making a ruckus and customer is doing nothing to stop them.
Me: GTFO my store.

Me: Obviously helping a customer.
Another customer: Waves hands, whistles for me to come.
Me: Gives the birdie.

The other day, Bob, whom I introduced in my previous post, was scheduled to come in about an hour after I was scheduled to come in.  Bob walks up to the assistant manager on duty and asks if he is really needed that day, and if it would be alright if he didn't come to his shift (why he didn't just call is beyond us) because he had a physics project to work on.  The assistant manager said it was okay for him to miss his shift.

I was relieved that I wasn't going to have to put up with him, but I was still aggravated.  It's the principle of the matter.  The guy went home early a couple weeks ago because his back hurt.  What he doesn't seem to get is all our backs hurt sometimes while on the job, but we don't wimp out.  Secondly, he's called out sick about three times since then (keep in mind that this was just a couple of weeks ago) so he has the NERVE to ask off to finish his physics project?!

It's early Sunday evening!  What the hell was he doing all weekend?  I'm a college student, I had four exams coming up that week to study for, plus a Powerpoint presentation that I was going to have to give the next day, yet I came, didn't even think about asking off, and did my shift.  God I hope Bob gets fired.  Soon.

Breaks and new hires

Okay, so our company is very strict with breaks.  And not in the way you'd think.  We can get in a lot of trouble if we miss a break, or if our break is even a minute too short.  This is company policy.  And I wish people would realize that, no, no matter how long the line is, an associate cannot open up their register if said associate is on break.  Get over it.

On another note, we already have more employees than we really need.  My boss kept all but two of the holiday employees, so our hours now average around nine to fifteen a week.  Why he didn't let more of the holiday employees go after the holidays is beyond me.  One of them, we'll call him Bob, has the worst work ethic.  He's very slow at the register, horrible at recovery.  He's also downright annoying.  Customers routinely complain about him.  And yet my boss keeps him.

My boss is the greatest, but I don't think he makes the best choices as far as hiring is concerned.  I feel like, and I know that this sentiment is shared by at least one of the assistant managers, he hires/keeps people out of pity.  For example, you know how I just mentioned in the previous paragraph that we already have too many employees?  Well just the other day he hired ANOTHER employee.  What makes it worse is that this lady BARELY speaks English.  Ugh.

My Own Store

You know, sometimes I really wish I could run my own independent store.  Perhaps I will someday.  If I do, I will run it by these basic rules, which will also go up on a sign on the doors:

What We Expect of our Employees:
1. Show up on time, well-dressed and well-groomed.
2. Cellphones and other electronic devices off.
3. Provide exemplary customer service
4. Be curteous to our customers.
Violation of these simple rules will be grounds for termination of employment.


What We Expect Of Our Customers:
1. Be courteous to our employees.  Employees have the right to ignore extremely rude customers.
2. Refrain from texting or talking on your phone when checking out.  The decision as to whether or not to check out a customer who is texting or talking on their cell phone is the sole discretion of the employee.
3. If there's a line, be curteous and have your form of payment out when you get to the checkout counter.
4. If you have children, control them.  Don't let them make a mess of the store.
5. We are not a bank.  We will not accept bills that are more than twenty dollars larger than your total.  We will not accept all change for orders more than four dollars.
Failure to follow these simple rules may result in your removal from the store.

Food stamps

This post is a Two For One Special.  The other day I had two customers in my line.  I rang up the first man, who reeked of ciggarate smoke.  He got several of those little Five Hour Energy bottles.  I asked him (as I am required to do) if he wanted to purchase any candy from our register area.  He very angrily replied "Do I ever buy candy here?!"  Look, I don't care if you're a regular or not, I see hundreds of people per shift.  I'm not going to remember everyone.  And we have a bunch of regulars, so again, I'm not going to remember everyone.  Being asked if you would like to purchase candy is no reason to be a jackass about it.

The next customer came up and gave her the customary "Hello.  How are you?"  To which she replied "Good now that he's gone."  She went on about how she "can't stand ignorant people" and "how was I supposed to know he never bought candy?"  As I was scanning this customer's order and listening to her, I thought to myself  "I don't care what this customer does, I will love this customer forever."

Seriously, I love it when customers can relate to me like that and are aware of my frustration and even share it.  I finished ringing this customer's order up, which consisted of forty dollars of candy and a few drinks.  She went on to tell me about how her mother was visiting and was making the ultra-long drive home the next day so she wanted to get some candy for her mother for the ride home.  She then pays for it with a food stamp and says "This is why food stamps are great."  Warning: Controversy ahead.

My love for this customer instantly vanished.  Why does candy even qualify for food stamps in the first place!?  You're using MY tax dollars to get a ridiculous amount of candy for YOUR mother to eat on the way home?!  Really?!

Void where prohibited

Yesterday at work my item voids were pretty high--9 during my shift.  Now, for those who don't work in retail who are reading this blog, item voids are when you delete an item that you've already scanned for a purchase, usually because either the customer has changed his/her mind or you accidentally scanned something twice.

For some reason, management and corporate make a big deal out of item voids.  They hate item voids.  They get upset with us when we have too many.  But seriously, I don't get what the big deal is.  Can anyone enlighten me on this?