Little things

You know, I really don't get people.  Why do people go to the register with the light off and no one standing at it rather than the register with the light on and a cashier standing at it?  The answer: People are stupid.  Damn stupid.

It's often been said that the customer is always right.  I would like to point out that customers who think like this are not always right.  In this case, the customer is either:

A. Wrong

B. An Idiot

C. An Asshole

D. All of the above

Fortunately, no customers have used this phrase in my presence.  If they do, I'll scream.  At them.

Another thing I've noticed recently: Cards.  Why do people put the cards in the envelopes before they get their stuff rung up?  Don't these morons realize that I have to take them out to scan them?  Please, arrange your cards so the cards are not in the envelopes and the bar codes are facing out.  

It's been a while

Man, it's been a while.  And have I got stories for you.  I've just been too busy lately to update the blog.  An update on Bob: He's been fired.  Well, not fired.  He left, saying he got another job, "an offer he couldn't refuse".  We all doubt that story though, and figure he realized he was about to be fired.

A couple weeks ago we had a customer come in looking for various balloons.  I looked and saw that we didn't have some of the ones she wanted.  She then asked if she could just take the ones taped on the wall for display only.  I told her we couldn't do that.  She then asked to speak to the manager on duty, who was one of the AMs.  He comes up and tells her the exact thing we just did: We can't sell the balloons on display.  To which this old bag replies "It's not that you can't, is that you're not willing to do what makes the customer happy."

Cue rage mode.  From me.  Umm, no lady, you're wrong.  It would be much easier for us to give you the ones on display just to get your sorry ass of a human out our door.  How dare you be so presumptuous as to assume that we're just being lazy.  We have things called rules and policies we have to follow, and we're not about to lose our jobs over it.

On another note, how hard is it to figure out which register is open?  When did this stop being common sense? You go to the one where the light is ON!  If I am at my register and the light is off and someone else is standing at a register where the light is on, do not come to my register.  I am not open.  I'm probably clocking in or ending my shift or clocking out for my break.  Coming to my register when my light is off will not get you anywhere; it's just going to piss me off.  If there's only one register with a light on, as is usually the case, go to that one!  Don't stand there like a buffoon trying to figure out which register is open.  You know, this really wouldn't bother me so much if it weren't for the fact that 99 percent of our customers are too stupid to figure out on their own which register is open.

Oh, and don't ask me if I can call another register to be open when the line gets a little long.  If I could, I would.    
Period.  But sometimes I can't for various reasons.  Deal with it.

Open Registers and Such

I am sick and tired of people asking me which register is open.  HELLO!  The one with the light on!  I thought that was a common sense thing.  You go to the register with the light that is ON!  There are also people who keep asking where our batteries or glasses are, both of which we keep at the front in plain sight.  If these people would spend thirty seconds looking for this, they wouldn't have to ask!

On another note, the other night I had an Indian couple come through my line.  They got about thirty boxes of movie theater type candy.  Of course, these boxes aren't heavy, so to save bags, I filled each bag before moving on to a new bag.  The man got so upset with the fact that I was doing this.  He started complaining when I filled the first bag "don't make them too heavy!  See now I want you to double bag this because it's too heavy!"  Umm, it's fucking boxes of candy, THEY'RE NOT HEAVY!

At our store, we have two types of carts: Black and grey.  The grey ones lock up automatically in the lobby and won't go outside.   The grey ones will go outside.  The Indian couple had gotten a grey cart, so I was stuck with the dismay of having to explain the carts to them.  The man seemed unable to comprehend the fact that we do have carts that will go outside and said "I need men to help us bring our stuff outside."  Umm, no.  There's only two of us and we are both busy helping other customers.  Get yourself a cart and bring it outside yourself.

Update on Bob:
The other night I found out that our DM was going to be paying a visit the next day.  The manager on duty was allowed to call someone in to help clean up the store.  And who does he call in?  Bob!  Of all people he calls in Bob!  Suffice it to say that our store manager was pretty pissed the next morning when she found out he had called in Bob of all people.

Oi

I'm not feeling well today.  But I had to work.  Of course, by the end of my shift I was ready to get the hell outta there.  But as the manager on duty was taking my till out of my register to count it down, this happened:

Customer with annoyingly high-pitched, squeaky (Think The Nanny but with a somewhat smoother and higher, yet still as squeaky), voice (or Bitch for short): I need help with balloons! Bitch only waits one or two seconds before yelling out no one can help me with the balloons.

Manager on duty (to me): Go help her with the balloons.

Me: Which balloons would you like?

Bitch: Three of these, three of these, one of each of these four...oh, and throw in one of these.

Me: Ugh.  I proceed to pull out the balloons she asked for, only to find we don't have half the balloons she wants.  Ma'am we don't have these ones.

She then takes forever to decide which ones to get instead, only to arrive at this:
Bitch: But you have the ones on display (we keep one of each balloon taped on the wall in the balloon area for display ONLY.)

Me: Ma'am, those are display only.  They aren't for sale.  Bitch continues to whine.  Another manager on duty comes over.  The customer asks him to let her buy some of the display balloons.


Manager: Ma'am, those aren't for sale, they're display only, and they've been up there for so long that they aren't even good anymore.

Bitch: Could you check for me?

It was at this point that the intervening manager mercifully sent me to finish counting down my till and clock out.


Another event that happened today:
A customer wanted to do an exchange.  We can't do refunds--corporate policy.  We also aren't supposed to exchange things for food items, because food items aren't taxable and we'd end up owing the customer money.  This customer wanted to bring back some plastic flowers and get food in exchange.  When we told her she couldn't do that I swear she almost cried.  Get a grip lady.

On a completely unrelated note:
My university recently formed a new fraternity.  At the meeting today the officers were introduced.  Eventually they got to me and introduced me as the PR/Media guy.  This would have been fine HAD I BEEN MADE AWARE OF THIS APPARENT DEVELOPMENT BEFOREHAND!  You don't introduce officers to a bunch of new members unless said officers are aware that they are officers beforehand.

Hell, I don't even know what to do here.  Literally, I know nothing about this.  I designed the website for a related club, but it was through one of those free service websites where you have no control over the layout.  And in that club we have a separate guy for media and PR.  Why the fuck do they think I know anything about this?!

Running late?

I just don't get some people.  Actually, I don't get a lot of people.  But I especially don't get the people who think that just because THEY'RE running late it means that they get to cut in front of other people.  Just the other night, I had a line.  There were only two registers open because there were only two employees working.  There was a woman towards the back who yelled up to me and asked me if I she could go ahead and get checked out because she was running late.

Well, not wanting to upset the customers in front of her, I told her that it was up to the other customers as to whether or not she could skip them.  The women then asked the women running the other register (aka the manager) and the manager simply restated what I had already said.  

So the customer started asking.  The first few people in front of her let her go, but at some point someone said no.  Fine with me, not my problem.  She fumed and swore every few seconds, but she wasn't being that disruptive and no one was complaining so I just ignored her.   

She gets up to my register, starts swearing a little louder, complains about how we have horrible customer service.  I'm inclined to agree with that sentiment--we should have served our customers by kicking her out.  

It's been a while...

Man, it's been a while since my last post.  And things are just as crazy as ever.  An update on Bob: He is on the verge of being fired.  I just hope he doesn't realize it.

You know, if I could have one wish, it would be that we cashiers would be allowed to tell people how idiotic they seem when they ask a stupid question, or how annoyed we are when they pay a two dollar and fourteen cent total with a twenty.  Hell, just yesterday someone called in and asked if we had kiddie pools!  Seriously lady?!  Below are some responses I wish I could give to common idiotic questions/situations:

Customer walks in and immediately asks where the batteries are:
Me: Look around you lazy bum, they're right behind you.

Customer: Walks into the store, comes up to me, and simply says (Insert product here).  No "Do you have" or anything, just  (insert product here)
Me: F you.

Customer: Pays with a twenty for their two-dollar total.
Me: I'm sorry, you must have us confused with a bank.  The bank is right across the street.  We're a freaking dollar store.

Customer: Runs to the front of the line, skipping everyone else, waves a product in my face, throws money at me, then runs out.
Me: Umm, no, lady.  You have to wait in line like everyone else.  I don't give half a damn if you're in a rush, you should have planned better.

Customer: Puts soap/other product in candy by registers.
Me: Ma'am/sir, I realize you probably didn't pass first grade, so I'm gonna help you out: That product is actually over there, what you were about to put it with was the candy.

Customer's kids are making a ruckus and customer is doing nothing to stop them.
Me: GTFO my store.

Me: Obviously helping a customer.
Another customer: Waves hands, whistles for me to come.
Me: Gives the birdie.

The other day, Bob, whom I introduced in my previous post, was scheduled to come in about an hour after I was scheduled to come in.  Bob walks up to the assistant manager on duty and asks if he is really needed that day, and if it would be alright if he didn't come to his shift (why he didn't just call is beyond us) because he had a physics project to work on.  The assistant manager said it was okay for him to miss his shift.

I was relieved that I wasn't going to have to put up with him, but I was still aggravated.  It's the principle of the matter.  The guy went home early a couple weeks ago because his back hurt.  What he doesn't seem to get is all our backs hurt sometimes while on the job, but we don't wimp out.  Secondly, he's called out sick about three times since then (keep in mind that this was just a couple of weeks ago) so he has the NERVE to ask off to finish his physics project?!

It's early Sunday evening!  What the hell was he doing all weekend?  I'm a college student, I had four exams coming up that week to study for, plus a Powerpoint presentation that I was going to have to give the next day, yet I came, didn't even think about asking off, and did my shift.  God I hope Bob gets fired.  Soon.